Friday, January 4, 2013
Still workin through it
Through experiencing my own break up , and talking to others who've been in similar situations , I've realized that its much more complicated than one might think. It's not just getting over someone who controlled so much of your emotion ..
So heavily filled your thoughts , but there's also dealing with the residual effects of the relationship .
Honestly , I believe the latter is a tougher , more painful process. I've moved on. My heart has done most of its healing , but I fear that I'll be dealing with the left overs of dating him , for years to come . I made mistakes in the relationship . Did things I'm not proud of .. And as an effect , I have desires that aren't right, but what's worse and harder ? My mind .
You know how they say you can't un-see something ? Well it's true , but it's also true that you can't un-experience it either.
Once you've seen or experienced something , especially when it's tied to emotions, it will never leave your mind. If you're not careful , it'll play over and over again . It's not healthy. Especially what I'm dealing with .
Y'all, sometimes I'm afraid that I'm not open enough with you. I share my faith and my walk with God , but I don't often share the dark corners of my heart. I don't want y'all to think I'm hiding anything from you. That's not my aim .
So here I am , laying my heart on the line .
Love always ,