Friday, January 4, 2013

Still workin through it

Through experiencing my own break up , and talking to others who've been in similar situations , I've realized that its much more complicated than one might think. It's not just getting over someone who controlled so much of your emotion ..

So heavily filled your thoughts , but there's also dealing with the residual effects of the relationship .

Honestly , I believe the latter is a tougher , more painful process. I've moved on. My heart has done most of its healing , but I fear that I'll be dealing with the left overs of dating him , for years to come . I made mistakes in the relationship . Did things I'm not proud of .. And as an effect , I have desires that aren't right, but what's worse and harder ? My mind .

You know how they say you can't un-see something ? Well it's true , but it's also true that you can't un-experience it either.

Once you've seen or experienced something , especially when it's tied to emotions, it will never leave your mind. If you're not careful , it'll play over and over again . It's not healthy. Especially what I'm dealing with .

Y'all, sometimes I'm afraid that I'm not open enough with you. I share my faith and my walk with God , but I don't often share the dark corners of my heart. I don't want y'all to think I'm hiding anything from you. That's not my aim .

So here I am , laying my heart on the line .

Love always ,



  1. I know exactly, exactly what you mean. I'm in the middle of it right now with Sam, and part of me thinks it's great. The other part of me realizes that if we don't last, I may be left with a heavy bundle of regrets. It's a tricky road to navigate.

    Your words of encouragement on Facebook meant more to me than you can imagine! Thanks for being such a sweet friend :) Much love,


  2. girl, i have been there. if you ever just want to talk, i'm here. getting over a relationship is difficult, just take comfort in the fact that you never have to go it alone :)

  3. You and your poor grammar and you're terrible 1 dimensional thinking is a prime reason as to why i will never homeschool my children. You give homeschoolers a bad name.

  4. Alana's comments are open and courageous as she seeks to share what the Lord places on her heart. The level of grammatical formality she chooses to hassle with on her blog is her decision as the author. Should she determine to publish any of her thoughts, she may spend more time editing and proofreading. Until that point, she has the heart to share what the Lord is revealing to her day by day as these thoughts flow in a personal journal, of sorts, and I, for one, am blessed because of it. So... Thank you, Alana, for the courage to share your heart to encourage ours.

    Blessings in Him

    "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." ~ Romans 12:12

  5. To the first "Anonymous" I have said time and time again on this blog that I am not good at English. It is not my strong point, nor will it ever be. We all have different gifts as various parts of one body in Christ. One area I am maturing in, by God's grace, is that of edification. I don't constantly put other people down. Instead, I strive to lift them up. I believe this better reflects the Lord's heart, one of a Love to rescue us and spur us onward to greater heights in Him if we're willing. I would encourage you to seek His will in this area as well.

    Also, you honestly don't need to follow my blog. If you consistently don't like what you see here, then you don't need to feel compelled to read it.

    As for being one-dimensional.... Well, I don't think you realize the depth of Christianity! Granted, having a Christian worldview is most certainly radical and focused on Christ, but the thoughts involved are not one-dimensional. They are multi-faceted, in fact, perfectly blending such topics as righteousness and mercy, justice and forgiveness, human will and divine sovereignty.
    Having a Christian worldview is not being one-dimensional .... It's being a Christian.

    Finally, I'm sorry that my "giving homeschoolers a bad name", is part of why you will not homeschool your children. They will surly miss out in the blessings of it.

    Have a blessed day.

  6. Alana, I admire the way you responded to the first anonymous with such grace and class. You're a beautifully honest and sweetly thoughtful blogger and I'm so blessed to call you my friend :)


    1. I really appreciate you saying that :).
      I am blessed to call you friend, as well :)

  7. I agree with Stephanie. I really commend you for that. As for your post topic, I've never been through a break-up so I don't really know how it feels. But all I know is that everything happens for a reason and time heals all wounds. :)



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