Sometimes I wonder

  What kind of person would I be if I had no desire to be married? Who would I be if the desire to be a wife and mother wasn't built into who I am? 

Would I be driven for some high powered career? Would I be making plans to live my life as a missionary overseas? 

Sometimes I wish I knew.... And could choose. Not that I want to know what the two futures would look like, but that I sometimes wish I could see the two versions of myself standing side by side and be able to chose which one I want to be. 

 The fact is, though, that the desire *is* built into me. It's who I am. And right now, I don't see how I could ever be truly, deeply happy, without having it. 

Shalom