The other night, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine, just random what-not. Well, I don't remember how we started talking about this, but she confided in me that before her current boyfriend. She had never done anything physical. Now, they haven't really done much, but even with the little they have done, she's not comfortable with it. She's a very sweet, innocent girl. Wanting to live her life for Christ, she knows what they're doing isn't right, but she wants to make him happy.
Why is it that so many women/girls give in to what the guy wants physically? I understand caring about the guy.. even loving him in some instances, so you want to do what makes him happy, but don't go to the level of compromising your purity for his happiness. If he really loves you back.. it will make him happy that you have enough respect for yourself to say "hey babe.. this doesn't feel right to me.. can we please just hangout?". Do whatever his hobby is, with him. Guys like a girl whose actually interested in HIM.. not obsessive and clingy, but interested in his likes and dislikes.
Y'all.. I realize I probably talk about this stuff a lot, but please don't take my words as "oh gosh.. here she goes again..". I blog what I know. I've struggled with physical purity before (still do some days), so I share what I've learned so that maybe someone else can be spared the pain. My apologies if this doesn't apply to you, I'm just sharing my life.
Shalom,
you're obnoxious. and a terrible writer.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I appreciate the compliment. :)
DeleteHaha! Alana, you made me laugh out loud just now, you did:)
ReplyDeleteThe majority of the time someone comments under an anonymous name, they have nothing worthwhile to say. Now, there are times when good, loving, heartfelt words are entered under an anonymous name and I think that is great! But please, if you have nothing uplifting to say, kindly keep it to yourself.
Wow, anonymous trash talk is so brave. Keep your chin up Alana, you handled that nicely. Anyway, you make a valid point. She shouldn't have to "prove" her love to him by doing something she's not comfortable with. If he really loves her back he'll respect how she feels and not just what he wants
ReplyDeleteThanks :).
DeleteYou're right, I actually know the guy she's dating and if he knew how she feels about this, he'd be upset. He's not the type to pressure a girl into doing stuff.
Oh, well then they aren't communicating. It might not be easy but they have to talk to each other about this kind of thing. She doesn't have to make him feel like a tool but ignoring it will only make it worse.
DeleteRight. I suggested she talk to him about it.
Deletesometimes girls do it without even thinking. i know personally i have some issues with deep down believing that a guy actually wants to be with me because i am me, if that makes sense. and in a moment, if i'm not careful, i can end up compromising without even meaning to because there is something that goes off in my brain.
ReplyDeletebut i totally agree with Jay - they need to have a hard conversation for sure. but until they set some boundaries, she's always going to be confused about how to deal with this.
Oh yeah, I've definitely been there too.
Delete