So yesterday was fathers day. I have to be honest, I have a love/hate relationship with the day. I love the excuse to spend time with Papa, but I hate goIng to church. Let me explain...
I was dreading church big time, yesterday. It's hard going to church and hearing about all the great Godly dads, or hearing about the Biblical roles that dathers have, and not having a dad who does that.
I got through worship just fine.. Emotional, but fine. Then a few of the ladies got up front, they had something special for the dads. And it just shattered. It killed me that my dad wasn't there... By choice.
I had toddlers so I didn't hear the sermon, but from what my mom said about it, I doubt I would have been able to sit through it.
Now let me make one thing clear. I love my dad so much, and he's a wonderful father. Yes, a touch of my pain about him not being in church comes from a selfish place, but most of it comes from a concern about his salvation, and a desire to be able to connect with him on a deeper level. I'm envious of people who have that with their dads. God I'm the most important thing in my life, and I can't share that with one of the most important men in my life.
I do want to say a special thank you for my beat friend's dad though. Rob has taken me as one of his own, despite my constant failures. I mess up, a lot, and he and Shannon still love me. I'm so thankful to have a second dad who loves God and lives his life following Him.