Monday, September 2, 2013

Playing the "What if..." game.

What if.... I'm wrong about my future?
What if.... every word I've ever spoken about where I see myself going, was wrong?
What if.... there's no such thing as loving one person forever?
What if.... I'm not cut out to be a wife...a mother?
What if.... everything I ever thought God has spoken to me, was just my own mind?
What if.... I'm just a stupid, foolish girl with stupid, foolish dreams?
What if.... I never amount to anything?
What if.... I end up alone?....

I have so much going on inside me... it's like an over cooked stew. I feel sick. I'm terrified. My heart aches, and my head spins. This is too much... it's too much to handle. My life... is too much for this girl to handle.



  1. “What if.... I'm wrong about my future?” It's possible that not all of your thoughts about the future may be right. But some -- if not most -- I'm sure, will be.
    “What if.... every word I've ever spoken about where I see myself going, was wrong?” I doubt that. I can feel that there’s a lot in your future. Hold on to what God has told you.
    “What if.... there's no such thing as loving one person forever?” Yes there is. There definitely is.
    “What if.... I'm not cut out to be a wife...a mother?” Seriously? You’re cut out to be just about anything. You’re a very strong person that is very faithful and adamant about your beliefs, and through Christ, you can do all things. Your children will adore you, and your husband will think about how much he loves you more times than there are grains of sand on every beach and more times than there are stars in the sky.
    “What if.... everything I ever thought God has spoken to me, was just my own mind?” There are so many things that you’ve been told that were right, though. Sometimes, of course, it may have been your own mind. But more often than not, it comes from God. It seems to be a rather obvious thing. If you still aren’t sure, pray about it.
    “What if.... I'm just a stupid, foolish girl with stupid, foolish dreams?” That, my dear, is absolutely nonsensical. You’re God’s creation. He made you the way He wanted you, and that scratches out both of your above thoughts.
    “What if.... I never amount to anything?” Trust me – you will amount to big things, big things indeed. I can see it. You’re going to be a very amazing person, Alana.
    “What if.... I end up alone?....” That’s ridiculous. God’s told you plenty enough that you should know how ridiculous that “what-if” really is.
    I am not one to say I have never played this game. Trust me – I have. But when you look at this in the right sense, every one of these is refuted.

    I feel that God wants me to share this story with you. If you’ve heard it before, let it serve as a reminder. There was a women’s Bible study group that was meeting one night, and they were studying the book of Malachi. On that particular night, they were studying chapter three. When they came across the third verse, however, they were puzzled. It described God sitting as a refiner of silver. One of the women resolved to research the process of silver refining, and bring the fruit of her work to their next study.
    She made an appointment with a silversmith, telling him that she was interested in seeing the process of refining silver, though she decided against mentioning why. As she watched the silversmith, on the set date, he held a piece of silver over the fire, in the midst of the flames. He explained that it was necessary to hold the piece in the middle – the hottest part – of the fire, so that it would burn away all of the impurities.
    She asked the smith whether he had to sit in front of the fire, watching, the entire time. To which, he replied, that it was very important that he did so. If the silver was held in the fire even a moment too long, he said, it would be destroyed. The woman was silent for a moment. But then, she asked him how he knew the correct moment to pull the refined silver back out. “That’s easy,” he smiled. “When see my image in it.” So wherever you are, even in the hardest times, God is watching you. He’s ready to pull you out when you’re a pure piece of refined silver that he can mold into whatever He wants, including a wife and mother that will amount to great things.
    I apologize for such a long comment – I just felt God pulling at me to share this story with you. Have a blessed evening, Alana.

  2. Thank you.... So much. You can't know how much your kind words mean to me and how much they touch my heart. I'm practically in tears rightnow. Thank you for allowing God to speak through you.

  3. okay 1) God will never EVER give you more than you can handle. so take a deep breath, pray, and then pray some more.

    2) those thoughts are of the devil and you should banish them right away. anything negative and self deprecating is not a Godly voice, so don't let it take a hold of your heart.

    You are an amazing child of God with A LOT of people who love and care about you and will be by your side through literally ANYTHING. You are beautiful and talented and you have a huge loving heart. God made you special, He created you with a purpose. You are here for a reason and you are not alone.

    So just remember, things are not always going to be easy. Life is not a cakewalk and there are bumps along the way But lo, tho I walk through the valley of the shadow of death You walk beside me. <3<3<3

    1. Thank you... What you said really means a lot, Natalie. You're completely right.


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