Sunday, September 1, 2013
What kind of example am I??
My heart has been in crazy places lately. Selfish places... and painful places.
The selfish place resulted in someone getting hurt by something I took part in... and then I was the one to tell said person about it. I never wanted them to get hurt. I never meant for that to happen. It was the last thing I ever wanted happening, but it happened anyways. I have to live with that. I'm sorry for the part I played. I know that "sorry" doesn't make it better. It doesn't make the pain go away, but it does mean that I'm not a completely heartless, despicable human being. I'm sorry doesn't change how I feel about the situation, but it does mean I hate how it effects said person. I pray that God eases their pain, and that they find complete comfort in His will.
The painful place? Is my dad. Papa. The man whose always been a constant fixture in my life. The man who is the head of the house, but he doesn't pray with us, read the Bible with us, God to church with us, or even share our faith. THAT... breaks my heart. He's not an absent father, but he's also not the Christian counsel I need. His soul isn't saved, and I'm no help there. I'm not exactly a model Christian. I really do try, but I'm constantly failing, and Papa sees me fail every day. How am I supposed to be a light, to my own father when a perfect stranger could see what a screw up I am???