Wednesday, March 9, 2016

It's an action, not a feeling

Anyone wou knows me well, knows that I love to read, but I don't take enough time to do it, most of the time. I get caught up in life, and honestly just get lazy. It's a lot easier to waste time on the Internet or watch tv/ Netflix. 

  I made a promise to myself to read more this year, though, and that's just what I'm doing. I'm proud to say that it's only March and I've read 13 new books (not counting 8 books that I reread). Granted, some of those were short books, but still, that's a lot of books. 

  My most recent read was Love Does by Bob Goff. Essentially it's this guy telling stories about his and his friends lives, all revolving around things that love does. 

   He made love out to be this beautiful, exciting, tenacious, painful, outrageous, risky thing that takes action. 
  
   He talked about how love draws people in, instead of pushing people away.
 Love wants to be with people, not fix them. Love uses circumstances to shape us, instead of shaping the circumstance. 
Love breaks down walls.
Love doesn't want to be typical.
And it goes on and on. 

  I don't feel as if I love well. This is something I felt convicted of, a month or so ago when I was listening to a sermon. Since then, I've been striving to do better, be better, but this books showed me something huge. 

  Love isn't about getting it all right and being perfect. Love is about finding what lights a fire inside of you, and putting yourself out there. It's about finding your passion and not holding back. If that means picking up and going to the bush to set kids free from prison, then do it. 

  He talked about the importance of having a big idea (your place of passion), and not a plan. He said that ideas are things that are flexible and expand, but plans box you in. 

   I've always been one to say that I don't want to be typical, and I guess I'm off to a good start. I'm spending three months of my life out of the country, aren't I? But I know deep inside, because it itches and wiggles and burns, that there's something bigger for me. Something bigger than working at a home for street kids, as a house parents, even though I love it, and I love Children's Garden. I will always be tied to this place, but I know there's something different, deeper, more in-tune with who I am as a person. 

  My ideas are still cooking, and I'm not sure what my deep passion is, yet. All I know is I'm a lover, I'm called to love, and love does. 


Shalom

4 comments:

  1. My heart was bursting with joy, reading this. Reading more books. Love is doing. Something bigger for you. This is all so exciting! Now I'm in tears, thinking of how far you've come since you started this blog, and even since I started following it.

    I get caught up in life a lot too, and I always feel like I'm spending way too much time just doing things that are easy and fun for me.

    Many years ago, in my high school and college years, I prayed and prayed for God to make service to Him a passion in my life, like the passion I had for math, electronics, geometric paper constructions, and some of my other hobbies. He did! Not to say that I'm doing it very well. I never feel like I'm doing it well enough, but it is one of my passions now, like I wanted it to be.

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  2. Alana, I just had an idea about what your "something bigger" might be. I was writing to a friend who is concerned about post-grad, young adult Christians falling away from the church, and it occurred to me that what I was saying might be something to share with you too.

    What I said was that what can be done with youth in their pre-teens and early teens, to help prevent them falling away from the faith, might be far more consequential than what can be done later. Another thought is that recruiting people in their late teens for that work with younger people, might be a good way of keeping their faith alive, revitalizing it, and putting it to work.

    I would see that as really, really big.

    That's just a rough, half-baked idea, but maybe it will give you some new ideas of your own.

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    Replies
    1. That's a good idea.
      A huge part of why I am the way that I am, and believe as strongly as I do, is because of people who poured into me durring my teen years. People who loved me unconditionally through mistakes that I made, while guiding and teaching me the right way.

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    2. Yes, that makes good sense to me, and it's such a simple thing that anyone can learn to do. I said simple, not easy! I've been trying to learn for years and years to be a better friend to each person in my life, and my progress is agonizingly slow.

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